Statements Made in Sacrament Meeting & Ward Newsletters(I don't think all of these were from LDS announcements, but they are funny.)
Our opening song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High"
Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
For those of you who have children, and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Homemaking this week will meet at 7 p.m. The topic is weight management. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
This afternoon there will be baptisms in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 6:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
On a fast Sunday the opening song was listed as "Because We Have Been Given Mush.
Anyone wishing to may donate money to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet should come forward and do so.
The Relief Society has cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the cultural hall on Saturday.
At the fireside tonight, the topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Bishop Smith spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.
Some of the youth are in the high school presentation Shakespeare's Hamlet Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The 1991 Girls Camp will be hell the week of May 10.
5 comments:
Oh my gosh those were funny. I love laughing out loud and those certainly did it. I don't know which one is my favorite, maybe the one about the RS casting off their clothes and that they can be seen in the cultural hall. hahah oh my word I am still laughing as I type this. That carpet one is good too.
Have you changed your blog? It looks a little different where you leave the comments. I think I have heard some of those before. It reminds me of Jenny's story about the opening hymn being Gently Raise the Sacred Stain.
Crack me up! Here's a good one. Last night while reading scriptures, Jonas said fish instead of Faith. Go look it up. We had a great laugh. Ether 12:7 We are so irreverent. After the first faith, we told him what it was and he got it every time. I am sure now every time we read faith, we will insert fish!
Those were hilarious! A nice break to studying! :) I think my favorite one is "For those of you who have children, and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs." That one made me laugh out loud!
We were sitting together in the kitchen when we went to your post. We read them out loud to each other and laughed heartily. We have seen little mistakes in our bulletin , but nothing quite so funny as these. Glad you posted them.
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